Happy 2 Weeks Lane!

As of tomorrow, our sweet Benjamin Lane will be two weeks old! I can’t believe how fast it’s going by. I wished and wished for these days, and now I am ready to press the pause button and freeze time for a bit. Our boy has gotten bigger and better in just the two short weeks he’s been in the world.

First, his belly button fell off! Yay! This means no more sponge baths or folding down the diaper. Just a normal (ish) belly button that’s good to go in a big boy tub! Speaking of big boy baths, we have video of his first. Let me just preface that post by saying BLT is NOT a fan of the tub. Considering his behaviors elsewhere, I’m thinking it’s because he hates to be cold….something else we’ve learned about our little boy in this short time. As soon as Ben realized that Lane didn’t like to be cold and found him some comfy, warm pjs, well…he’s been sleeping much better at night. Maybe next time I’ll put his cute little butt in the tub with me. 😉

Another thing we’ve gotten the hang of is nursing. Having a VBAC, and successfully breastfeeding, were two goals I set for myself early on in this pregnancy.  Now, the VBAC isn’t entirely in my control (well, not at all in my control), and if you read the previous posts you’ll see why it didn’t happen.  But breastfeeding I can do. And am doing, quite beautifully.  We’ve had a few bumps in the road with it just like anything else. Lane is supplementing with formula to help with his jaundice and throughout this process my supply has dipped a bit.  But, there are still several times a day when I am able to cradle my guy and bond with him in a way I never have. What I initially thought would be awkward or unnatural for me has turned out to be second nature and cathartic for my spirit. I’m hoping I can continue this with him for another few weeks….

Last to mention is Lane’s “playtime”. I’m not sure if you know anything about newborns, but they pretty much sleep all the time. ALL, the time. But over the past two weeks Lane’s favorite time to be awake is after feeding, and after a diaper change. Sometimes he falls right back to sleep, but more often lately he likes to look, and stare, and whoever it is that’s holding him. These have got to be my favorite times so far. Most of the time we just stare at each other for 15-20 minutes at a time. I talk to him, and he doesn’t respond much except with random reflexive smiles or yawns. He loves when I stroke his face or give him kisses. It’s a very easy, simple time where we get to know each other and bond in yet another amazing way.

Tomorrow Ben goes back to work, Chase is at school, and it’s just BLT and I on most days. I am looking forward to spending alone time with my handsome boy, but  also anxious about my other handsome guy being so far away. I take comfort, however, that in our experience, no matter how much space is between Ben and I…we’re never really apart after all. 🙂

Lane’s Arrival

Tuesday, January 3rd, started like any other Tuesday really. School was out and Chase was coming home from his Dad’s after spending a long New Year’s weekend. We spent the morning hanging out in our pajamas and watching tv. After lunch, I started having a few strong contractions. This was not much different than previous days, where my strong contractions lasted about 20 minutes then subsided. Once they got a bit stronger, and closer to an hour going strong, I texted Ben and called the nurse at my doctor’s office. Still not too concerned, I told Ben to take his time coming home and decided maybe I needed to ‘relieve some pressure’. While sitting on the toilet, I felt a gush that was not controlled by me. I immediately thought “Oh my gosh, my water broke! I’m going into labor”. Within the next few seconds my thoughts quickly changed as I noticed my water did not break, instead I was bleeding. Alot. My heart sank knowing that something wasn’t right. I immediately called my doctor’s office who told me to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Then I called Ben and told him he needed to be home ASAP. Throughout all of this, my sweet Chase was home with me. I put on my bravest face and decided to keep him busy while I waited on Ben. I stayed on the toilet and bled, while Chase grabbed things we needed and added them to the suitcase. I used every bit of my courage not to worry, but knowing that this amount of blood wasn’t normal. I hadn’t felt Lane move in a while. I just wanted to be at the hospital. Now.

Continue reading “Lane’s Arrival”

2011 – Let’s review

2011 started off like any other year, with a wicked ice storm that pretty much shut down the whole state of Georgia. We made the best of it and actually had a really great time. We wouldn’t get that kind of ice/snow again for the rest of the year. I’m actually hoping that we get one again, only this time we’ll have a lil’ baby with us.

February brought us Gracie. A Great Dane that would put us to the test.

Neither one of us had ever owned such a beast. She was one of the sweetest and happy dogs ever, but damn was she a handful. After many ‘discussions’ we finally decided to find another home for her. Luckily I was able to find a nice lady that lived on a farm, a real one night the typical ‘dog farm’. Off to a better home Gracie went and I’m sure she is much happier now.

March ushered in some Spring little league for Chase. He really got into the ‘swing’ of things and enjoyed himself.

Honestly it was a lot of fun. We got to meet some new people and Chase had a lot of fun. I don’t think the Mudcat’s won that many games, but it didn’t really matter to him, he just wanted to play.

I don’t think much happened in April. Well… I mean Chase did get to go a Wrestlemania Art show, meet a bunch of wrestlers and then go to the actual PPV. Oh, and there was Tax Day. Hmm… something else happened… Oh that’s right, WE GOT MARRIED!!!! It was a wonderfully magic wedding. Everything we had hope for. I got to finally call the love of my life my bride, and it was the beginning of our forever. The honeymoon was in Vegas, and well… and we know good and well what happens in Vegas, doesn’t always stay in Vegas. In addition to finding out we were pregnant (but really what could top that) we spent the May kinda floating around in happiness and bliss.

Every summer we like to take a family vacation, and a pregnancy this year wasn’t going to slow us down. For the 2011 Summer Vacation we decided it would be a lot of fun to head to Disney! We loaded up the car and drove down to the most magical place on earth. Chase had never been and neither Jess nor I had been in SEVERAL years so it worked out perfectly. It wasn’t easy for Jess with the heat and the walking plus being pregnant, but we made it. It was a great vacation and a birthday I don’t think Chase will ever forget.

The rest of the summer went on by, carrying with the ups and downs of being pregnant. We found out we were having a boy and man, that made me excited. I was the last male Turner and to be able to continue the name, meant a lot to me.

As August rolled around we started getting read to go back to school, and doing just normal family things. Chase was doing great and really getting into the spirit of being an older brother. He was helping around the house and he just felt a little more grown up. October would creep upon us before we knew it and in addition to me getting a new car and turning 32 it started to really sink in that I was going to be a daddy, very soon.

Between Halloween and right now it’s all kind of a blur. It’s as if time sped up and didn’t really wait. We had our first, and second baby shower and started getting the nursery ready. Baby clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, bottles, all of it started coming in and every time we would get something new it would sink in just a bit more how soon this bundle of joy would be here. Lane’s nursery looked fantastic and in no time at all everything was in its right place and we could start getting ready for the holidays.

Baby Lane's Room
Baby Lane's Room

Our Christmas tree was up BEFORE Thanksgiving, and the house was all set and ready to go. We made our rounds to friends and family. Did the gift exchanges and then it was Christmas day at the Turner household. I couldn’t have asked for a better holiday season. My wife was glowing with that baby glow, Chase was happy and doing all the big brother things and I was doing everything I can to make the house and my wife ready for this baby.

In contrast to the rest of the year, this past week has been filled with lots of taking it slow. Everything we could possibly do to be prepared for Lane, we have done. The bags are packed, the car seat is in, clothes washed and put away, house is secure, etc. You name it, we’ve done it. Now all we need is for Lane to come home.

It’s been such a wonderful year. I’m sure I left things out, but it’s all good. They say that the first year of marriage is the toughest thing you’ll go through other than the 9 months your wife is pregnant. Well, I’ve done both at the same time and I’m more in love now than the day I got married and I don’t see signs of this ever stopping.

That's my boy!
That's my boy!

Thanks for all the memories 2011, but it’s time for 2012!


36 weeks!!!!

Only one week away from a full term baby! We are so close to meeting this little guy and everything’s coming together. One more week of work and grad school then I am DONE! Most days I feel great. I have a cold, and some days I feel like he could just fall right out, but overall I feel calm. And happy. And ready. Things are going to be so different but it’s a big change I’m ready for. Chase and Ben have been amazingly helpful these past few weeks also. Here’s a pic from this week. Sleepy and swollen, but happy and smiling. 🙂


Only a few more weeks!

We are literally counting down the weeks and before we know it, it’ll be days. Lane is moving around quite a but these days, he seems to be most active when SJ is singing Adele. Maybe we’ll have a little singer on our hands. Not sure if he’s into Skrillex yet, but we’ll see.

So now we just have about 7 more weeks until there is this tiny baby in the house. Jess has had the ‘joy’ of carrying him around for the past several months and I can’t wait to share in on that. We got some family/maternity pictures done and it’ll be fun to look back on those when Lane is older. We’ll get the pics posted soon. For now we’re just making our way through the holidays. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and we have a lot of food we’ll be cooking. The smells and sounds and happiness from the holidays is upon us. I’m excited to be in the kitchen cooking with my family.

Speaking of cooking with my family, I reckon I better get in there and get to it! Pics and videos soon!!

Still the exception….

Some days I look around and just see sadness. Families and marriages are falling apart, health is temporary, people disappoint you and loved ones die. As I bring another little soul into this world it scares me to pieces that things won’t always go the way I hope, and all I’m doing is adding another piece to the complicated puzzle.

I know life’s never gonna be perfect, but during times when things are rough I remember my husband’s pre wedding words. “We are the exception”. He said these in response to my fears about having another failed marriage and plowing through trust issues. We are not immune from heartache or disappointment or failure. But, we are the exception because we will not let this life’s inevitable darkness break us. Not as individuals, or as a couple, or as parents.

My family is the exception. This is my choice. It’s a great place to be in as we get ready for Lane to arrive. 🙂

This zen post was brought to you by taco night, my amazing bath tub, and the number 32. (only “8” weeks left!!)

Lane’s Shower!

Somehow I am already 31 weeks! Where has the time gone?? The holidays will be here soon and I am so ready to enjoy some great food, family, and finish getting ready for little Lane’s arrival. Of course I’m already prepared….just need a few last minute things. We are already pretty stocked, thanks to an awesome baby shower thrown by my bff Heather this weekend. It was co-ed and ended with chili and football. I need to get some final shots of the nursery posted. I went with an owl theme and it’s turning out SO cute. I’ve been feeling really, really great lately and I can’t wait to meet Lane! I hate that we didn’t get many pictures of all the guests, but here’s a few highlights from the shower!


– we ordered a rental doppler to listen to little BLT’s heartbeat. Sweet lil sound made my night.
– officially back in the swing of work. never enough time in a day. always tired. always still a ton left to do. it’ll balance out soon.
– crazy, busy work weekend ahead of me. huge projects for grad school due (procrastination sucks) and lots of PTO and regular school work to do for bbrook. the boys are enjoying six flags while i stay home and work. i’m glad they’re going out and having fun, and i’ll be glad once i feel accomplished after all my work is done.
– we picked a name…i think. not sharing it yet though, and i’m not sure why. feels fun to have our little secret for our boy. 🙂
– i can no longer try to fight it mentally……i’m getting sick. with a head cold that’s starting off with wicked headaches and congestion. tonight’s home remedy for said cold is: dark chocolate brownies, hot tea, and falcons. surely that will help.

It’s a Boy!!!

We had our 3D ultrasound Saturday and I could tell as soon as the picture showed up on the screen that we had ourselves a little boy! The pictures are adorable and he’s just a tiny, bashful little thing. He hid his face from us a lot but also did a LOT of dancing. He gets that honest from a family of people who love dancing and music. Still no names picked out yet, but I’m starting to daydream of his nursery and mostly just our life together with a house full of boys! I feel like I am able to picture him here and create a bond now that I know the gender. Boys LOVE their mamas, always, and I can see myself down the road with tall, handsome, strapping men to call my sons and it makes me smile so big!

In other news, I’m trucking along at 17 1/2 weeks. I’m feeling better physically and really starting to love this pregnancy. I went through such a physical and emotional transition for the first trimester, but I feel like everything is right with the world now. Also, school starts tomorrow! Last week was preplanning and I had No idea just how exhausting going back to work was going to be. I know this summer made me lazy, but getting used to working all week is going to be an adjustment. Chase is excited though and I know as soon as we get back into our routine the holidays will be here and we will be bringing our little boy home!

First thing on the agenda is to pick a name! Ben loves Liam, and I like it a lot. 😉 Also on the list are Bradley, Ian, Cameron, Harper……the list really goes on and on. The only thing we can really agree on is that we would like his middle name to be Benjamin. Here are a few picture of Baby T!

16 Weeks

Some days I feel like I am so far along, and things are progressing normally…other days I feel like time is standing still. Most of that comes from the fact that I’m not a very patient person. Over all I am feeling better though. Physically I am able to function and leave the house and get dress daily so that’s an improvement. Emotionally I’ve been a bit of a roller coaster these past few days. It’s an odd feeling being pregnant, again. Even though I’ve had Chase for 9 years now, being pregnant brings a feeling that my body is no longer mine. It’s hard to explain. I have a checkup this Friday and I never really know what to expect with this doctor. I always go in expecting to check on things with the baby, but end up just checking on things with me instead. That makes sense though. I am the incubator after all. 🙂 I am hoping to hear that things are looking great at the doctor and really hope we can find out the gender next weekend. In the meantime, a few short term goals: go to bed (it’s currently 5am and I’ve been up since 3am), enjoy the upcoming weekend (my birthday!) with my amazing family and friends, and STOP being so hard on myself. I’m really noticing that I am harder on myself than anyone has ever been, than is even remotely necessary. Hopefully I can get some sleep…I’ve got a classroom to work in today. School starts in less than two weeks!