Is anyone every really ‘real’ on their blogs? I’m constantly jaded by social networking and observing people’s “lives” via the internet. The truth is, sometimes shit sucks. People rarely put that in their status updates. But I’ll save that rant for another post.
So let’s get real. I’ve been absent from the blog lately because school has me crazy. After school tutoring until 5 and Math Team and Talent Shows and Grad School and planning a wedding….there’s lots going on. Even in the midst of that I need want to blog more. To scrapbook my memories..to get thoughts out and spare my poor fiance a bit..to share what’s real.
Sometimes…I just get sad. I have a “cloudy” day and I just chalk it up to “one of those days”. Maybe it’s because I don’t handle hurt, disappointment, failure well. (Who does, right?). So I don’t deal with those gross things. I dig a trench, and bury them under. Maybe the bastards find a way to crawl out from under the dirt whenever they’d like and give me a week of struggles. Maybe I’m just a woman. Hormonal. Moody. High maintenance. Either way, I get en-capsuled in this shell. Joy and life and normalcy fly by and simply bounce off my shell. It is very. frustrating. It feels like I’m a prisoner and as hard as I try I just cannot get the damn thing to budge. Sleep though…sleep always feels better. All my stupid little shell needs is for me to be tired, or for me to fight with my mom, or for one forgotten check to clear…and it’s made of steel. Interestingly enough, I can wake up the next day…or in four days…and it’s gone. I am free.
Thankfully, I have SB on my side. Where that man gets all his patience…I will never understand. He also struggles with his own ‘clouds’, and maybe that’s why he’s so good at noticing mine. When I smile and fake it, he always knows that deep down I’m struggling. I’m learning that maybe I can be in control of the things that make me feel so…out of control. SB has a way of not breaking my shell for me, but pushing me towards opportunities and reasons to break myself free on my own. Sunday morning I just.wanted.to.sleep. All day. Curtains drawn. TV low. I craved it. “Let’s go climb a mountain..” he said. *Vomit* is what I thought. That is the LAST thing I wanted to do. But I did it. I watched behind my Kardashian sunglasses as my son played ‘lava’ with SB. As dads with babies on their backs and young couples with dogs all made the trek to the top. The view is always great and the fresh air was intoxicating. By the time we got to the bottom, my shell had some pretty substantial holes in it. Maybe I am in control of this damn thing after all….
I want to post this and these pictures to remember that sometimes, things just suck. Parents die and friends disappear and humans disappoint you. It’s okay to be sad. It’s also okay to move on from that sadness….One mountain at a time.
This post is WELL over due, but I reckon there’s no time like the present to get caught up on things.
SJ was messing around on Facebook and came across a co-worker that posted about a Great Dane her sister found abandoned by their neighbor. The sister already had 3 dogs and was living in a town home, so the addition of a dog of this size was just not going to work. The co-worker was desperately looking for someone that would take care of this poor dog. Well, Jess and I just couldn’t pass up on this opportunity. We knew we had the space so that was not an issue. Jan, the puppy we rescued over the summer, was lonely during the days when we were at work, and a companion would make a world of difference for her. So the decision was made and 3 days later we were off to pick up our new pup.
There really isn’t much else to say than that. She LOVED the open back yard and freedom. She had toys, another dog, and people to play with. She had spent the last X amount of days trapped in a garage with little to no food and was in dire need of someone to care for her. Now she had freedom and a loving family. I’d say this was the happiest dog on the planet.
Adjustment to having Gracie around didn’t come easy. We were not use to caring for a dog this size. She was about 2.5 times bigger than Jan and ate like a horse. She required lots of attention, both from us and the vet (to get her health back up and to get her spayed). She was full of energy and strength. Walking her was difficult and often times it was easier to just not go. However, over time we got more and more use to the way she lumbered about, whacking things with her tail. Her spirit is still as strong as ever and we love that about her. She has been as patient with us as we have been with her. Gracie and Jan have become the best of buds, even though they can be heard tumbling around and chasing each other all over the back yard. I’m not sure of the life she led with her previous owners, whether there was a large yard to play in or if she was cooped up all day in a crate. I do know that she loves being outside and running laps around the yard. We will continue to develop routines and work with her on training and behavior as she still likes to jump on people, but then again I reckon that’s most dogs. It’s just that most dogs aren’t the size of small horses.
Gracie is here to stay. I have always wanted a large dog and now I have one! I also have a small dog, and a cat, and fish, and a wonderful son and a fiancé. Gracie is a wonderful addition to our family. I love her very much and can’t wait for the walks in the park or taking her on car rides. She has a very kind and loving personality. She’s a great older sister to Jan and protector of the house (just ask any garbage man or UPS guy). Stay tuned for more updates!