Category: Health

Everyone HAS P90X…

P90X - Day 1

But no one ever really does it. I’ve said that for quite some time, but now I am to prove myself wrong.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been a tad on the chunky side. “Big bones”, “husky”, “healthy”, you name it, I’ve tried to mask what it really was… obese. I come from a family of eaters. We love us some southern food. It’s not always the best food or the healthiest food, but we would eat it and ask for seconds.

My childhood was spent playing with computers or in-doors helping with chores. I would go outside on occasion, but for the most part I was not to be found out and about doing anything athletic. As years went on, I got bigger and bigger. At my heaviest I was around 305lbs. This was in early high school. I didn’t, nor had I ever had a girlfriend, wasn’t into sports or anything involving being active, though I did join the drum line. I got by and was “happy”, but eventually I knew it was time for a change.
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There will be peace by the river

This morning I woke up and needed some sunshine. Somehow SB and I both had an empty calendar this weekend, so we decided to float the flint. It’s a 4 hour trip via canoe, and water was just perfect today. We played on the rocks, coasted through the very very small rapids, and took in the peace and quiet and beauty. After a VERY long week I really needed to get out of our house. We may need to start a whole new category on this blog called “sunscreen fail”. My handsome husband is awfully red tonight. As for me, I’m brown, exhausted, and going to sleep like a baby in a few short hours….

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Let’s Get Real….

Is anyone every really ‘real’ on their blogs? I’m constantly jaded by social networking and observing people’s “lives” via the internet. The truth is, sometimes shit sucks. People rarely put that in their status updates. But I’ll save that rant for another post.

So let’s get real. I’ve been absent from the blog lately because school has me crazy. After school tutoring until 5 and Math Team and Talent Shows and Grad School and planning a wedding….there’s lots going on. Even in the midst of that I need want to blog more. To scrapbook my memories..to get thoughts out and spare my poor fiance a bit..to share what’s real.

Sometimes…I just get sad. I have a “cloudy” day and I just chalk it up to “one of those days”. Maybe it’s because I don’t handle hurt, disappointment, failure well. (Who does, right?). So I don’t deal with those gross things. I dig a trench, and bury them under. Maybe the bastards find a way to crawl out from under the dirt whenever they’d like and give me a week of struggles. Maybe I’m just a woman. Hormonal. Moody. High maintenance. Either way, I get en-capsuled in this shell. Joy and life and normalcy fly by and simply bounce off my shell. It is very. frustrating. It feels like I’m a prisoner and as hard as I try I just cannot get the damn thing to budge. Sleep though…sleep always feels better. All my stupid little shell needs is for me to be tired, or for me to fight with my mom, or for one forgotten check to clear…and it’s made of steel. Interestingly enough, I can wake up the next day…or in four days…and it’s gone. I am free.

Thankfully, I have SB on my side. Where that man gets all his patience…I will never understand. He also struggles with his own ‘clouds’, and maybe that’s why he’s so good at noticing mine. When I smile and fake it, he always knows that deep down I’m struggling. I’m learning that maybe I can be in control of the things that make me feel so…out of control. SB has a way of not breaking my shell for me, but pushing me towards opportunities and reasons to break myself free on my own. Sunday morning I just.wanted.to.sleep. All day. Curtains drawn. TV low. I craved it. “Let’s go climb a mountain..” he said. *Vomit* is what I thought. That is the LAST thing I wanted to do. But I did it. I watched behind my Kardashian sunglasses as my son played ‘lava’ with SB. As dads with babies on their backs and young couples with dogs all made the trek to the top. The view is always great and the fresh air was intoxicating. By the time we got to the bottom, my shell had some pretty substantial holes in it. Maybe I am in control of this damn thing after all….

I want to post this and these pictures to remember that sometimes, things just suck. Parents die and friends disappear and humans disappoint you. It’s okay to be sad. It’s also okay to move on from that sadness….One mountain at a time.

Gettin’ Belay’d.

So many exciting possibilities have happened in the Sniper family this weekend…but I don’t wanna jinx ’em. So you’re gonna have to wait!

So Ben and I got invited to go rock climbing this past Friday. It sounds like something to do with good friends to get us out of the house so we decide to give it a try. The week rolls by and before I know it I’m driving home tired, hungry, and dirty. (Dirty b/c I didn’t take a shower that morning b/c I stayed up too late b/c I can NOT put down my new book series…but anyway). So needless to say I was not overly excited about our new adventure. We get to the place though and let me tell you…it’s really awesome! It’s called Stone Summit and I’m immediately intimidated as soon as I walk in the door. There are pros here and 5 year old’s that make me feel completely incompetent. So we walk up to the counter.

Jess: “Um…yeah..so we wanna climb?”

ClimberDude: “Ok…reservation or belay test?”

Jess: “Um…no, and…what?”

ClimberDude: “Do you need a belay test?”

Jess: “Hmm..I have no idea. What is that?”

Ben: “It’s the person who stands on the ground and holds the rope for the climber…”

Jess: “Oh. Um. No.”

Yeah, I’m the last person who needs to be responsible for holding someone up on that rope. I get my gear and shoes, and Bob shows me how to put it all on. It makes me feel even more out of place and awkward but it makes SB’s package look nice…so I comply. Maybe it was my hesitation…or it could’ve been me telling Kit that I’m not even sure I’m getting up ON that wall…but we head to the “training/kid/n00b” area. James shows me how to tie the right knots and gives me enough info to get started. I start to climb and I literally.petrified. The only option I have is to keep going up b/c down is not possible. (Mind you, I’m only about, eh, 5 feet in the air). BUT…I make it to the top. Letting go was the hardest. I kept telling James “you don’t know how heavy I am! Please don’t drop me”, but he lowers me down nice and easy and I’m immediately proud of myself and have a huge sense of release. We practice a few more times then head down with the big boys.  These guys were hanging from places in the wall that had me in awe. The muscle strength and balance and physics that it takes to rock climb is unbelievable. Kit, James and Bob are awesome. We all took turns and helped each other out and by the end of the night I was tired, blistered, and sore…but I felt great. It’s definitely a hobby I want to keep up! Eventually…I may even get up the guts to belay someone. Anyone want to be my first climber??!!

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I feel like I am on a journey. a spiritual, growing up, peace finding journey. Actually…once I realized this, it became clear that I’ve been on this journey for almost a year now. At times it seems crazy to think about how much life has changed in the past few years, but when I look at the changes I smile. I used to constantly fight with myself between doing what’s right…and doing what feels right.  I almost always did the latter even though I always knew better.  And I almost always felt the blow of consequences that followed. I was frequently frustrated…always confused with what I wanted. Now, for the first time ever, what I want is what’s right. What feels right…and what IS right…are very seldom two different things for me now. I can’t begin to describe to you the peace that has brought to my life.

When Ben and I met we were both extremely unbalanced people.  We were so wrong for each other and the timing couldn’t have been worse. About a year later…everything lined up. We went on a date. Started over. I wasn’t sure we would ever earn each others trust, and let me tell you it was NOT easy. But we did. We found trust, and balance, and priorities. We became a family and most importantly I learned how to put other people first. I was such a selfish person…and I’m learning how to love selflessly. I’m learning how to love the way people need to be loved. The rewards and the contentment and the….peace that comes from it is nothing like I can ever explain.

I don’t know where all of this has come from. Maybe from the awesome weekend that is ending. The weekend I so needed to relax, recharge my batteries (as Ben puts it), and reflect. School has started back and I feel the stress starting to build back up.  I don’t, however, feel that “thing” I used to feel. I used to have this little…ball of energy. Negative, confused energy. It bounced back and forth from side and side and never allowed me to just stop. and be content. and feel peace. This journey of mine has helped that crazy energy go away. I’ve finally said “this is what I want…and I am going to do what’s right to get it”. at times it was damn near impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel…and the number of people who are no longer in my life or who are no where near where they used to be in my life is huge. but the people who have embraced the change..or have at least acknowledged the change and remained patient, i am so so thankful for. no…i can’t do this by myself. yes…i do need help. this is just the beginning ….stay tuned. 🙂

Stone Mountain Date Night

Stone Mountain Sunset
Perfect Sunset

It all started with an email I received on Tuesday Apr 6th.
Jess:
while I was walking around monitoring my kids…i came up with the BEST idea. 🙂

I know it’s going to be a long week for both of us, so I want us to have something to look forward to….so do me a favor? keep your plans for Friday night free. the whole night. I got a lil something up my sleeve. 🙂

We both knew that Friday didn’t really have any thing going on, and Jess could sense that I was feeling a bit of the gloom monster. So she cooked up this crazy idea. She wouldn’t tell me, but she did send me several hints though out the week. Actually, they were “sniperhints”.
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Oh Sniper… where have you been?!

A brief update of what Jess, Chase, and I have been up to in 2010.

So it seems The Snipers have been a bit absent or lazy in their upkeep on this thing in the past few weeks. Well, that’s mostly true. The main reason is that we’ve been getting settled in to our new apartment, been working like the dickens, dealing with ailments that just won’t go away, cooking, watching movies, and all manner of things. Now this blog is supposed to capture that all that stuff, so it seems only fitting that one of us go back and jot some things down that have gone on in the past few weeks.
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