Its that time of year again!

Well, another December has rolled up on us. We’re now 4 days until Christmas and though the house is a glow with lights and decorations, it really doesn’t FEEL like Christmas. I blame it primarily on the weather. Current forecast for Friday is 73°/62° with a 40% chance of rain. What’s up with that?! Its supposed to be cold on Christmas. But then again we live in Georgia and I’ve somewhat come to expect that. You really never know what its going to be from one week to the next.

Weather aside, things are still just not quite Christmasy. Its somewhat hard to get into the holiday spirit when you have sick kids, work schedules that are hectic and crazy, and no Christmas Story on the TV! Jack has been sick with RSV for the better part of a week now which is just wreaking havoc on Jess and I. He’s not sleeping well at night, been throwing up due to a persistent cough and is just fussy, all the time. Its hard to get a full night sleep any night these days. No matter what time he goes to bed, chances are he’ll be up between 3 and 4:30. Granted, he’ll usually go back to bed, that’s just not an hour when anyone WANTS to be up. But thems the breaks. That comes with the territory when you have young kids. At any give time, one or more will be sick or hurt or needing something. And we, as parents have to provide that. Not always easy when you don’t know what they need or want, but we always figure it out.

Another thing thats rough is finding time for ourselves. Either Jess and I together without cleaning up toys/food/socks/sippy cups/puke and yelling at one of them to be quiet or stop running or calm down, or one of us being solo at the the gym or shopping or just being quiet for a minute. Its hard to find the time despite being off work. I have two weeks of vacation, but that just means I’m not working, doesn’t mean I have oodles of free time. On the flip side, it does mean that we get more time with our boys. We have time to reconnect with the kids. Time that’s been lost over the past few months due to work. We have an opportunity to just be at home, take our kids out to play or shop or on walk. We don’t have to send our sick baby to a “school” that has given him RSV, HFM, and 5ths over the past 3 months. We can be home with them and get back to being the best parents we can. On that note, we don’t have to take Jack back to his “school” at all! We have not been happy with his schooling for quite some time and now we don’t have to take him back. He will be home and in better care over the next several months. He will be away from the germs, he’ll be able to get more sleep and more one-on-one attention. All thanks to my mom who has retired (again).

So there’s just a big bag of mixed emotions right now. It doesn’t feel like Christmas, but it feels like family. I get frustrated at my boys for being crazy and waking us up at all hours of the day and running around the house and not eating, but I love spending more time with them. I finally get to see my wife more than 2-3 hours a day. I get to spend time with her and reconnect, but that comes with no less than 2 kids running around the house demanding our attention at all times they are awake. Its just a season. Seasons change and it takes some easing into it. Unlike the weather in Georgia things don’t just change overnight. We’ll ease into this vacation and by Friday, it’ll feel like Christmas. The boys will come down the stairs and be in awe at the wonder that’s under the tree. We’ll have our homemade cinnamon rolls, just like every year.

Haphazard post thrown together while the family sleeps. Just some thoughts I wanted to get out there. I keep meaning to post more, but that just doesn’t seem to pan out. As we always say in this house “Start fresh on Monday!”

Half a year later

I honestly don’t even know where to begin. My last post was in December of 2014, and it’s now July 2015. That’s WAY to long to go without posting. So today, I start again.

But where to start? Do I make a post about Jack, Lane, Tough Mudder, my new tattoo, the basement, work, beer, the gym, or somewhere else? Too much has happened over the past 7 months to capture it all. There’s just no way to get it all into a post, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten more things than I’d ever be able to share here.

So now that I’ve wasted the first two paragraphs talking about how much I haven’t talked about in the past year I’m just gonna get right down to things.

65839600-5811-4401-B20E-63067F4660BEJack:
Jack is about to be 9 months old. We love this guy! He’s got so much personality and is such a Turner that it hurts some times. He’s not quite rolling over consistently yet, but he’s certainly done it a few times. He is on baby food, eats everything, and is growing like crazy. Right now he’s teething and about to cut his 8th… or 9th tooth. We’ve lost count as it happens so rapidly. The other week he started saying “dadadada” and then “mamamamama”. So talking isn’t far off. We’ve got a walker that he really enjoys being in because he’s mobile. I have a feeling this kid will be walking before he can craw, which is something he’s not really been keen on as of yet. So, this is a far cry from the last time I posted about Jack. He still frustrates the hell out of us, but I don’t know of any 9 month old that is just always the perfect baby. Oh, and he’s trending about 8-9 months ahead of his age as far as clothing, so that’s always fun.

OCR (Obstacle Course Races):

Watch these. That’ll pretty much sum things up. Jess and I have done both a Tough Mudder and Warrior Dash this year. I have 2 Spartan races coming up in the fall and can’t wait!

Work:
Work is work. I’ve been working on the same project for the better part of 2 years now. The good thing is, its not something that has either a budget or end date. I can always add more features and functionality and as long as our sales team sells it, I’ll be in demand!

The house:
I don’t know what I have / haven’t posted about in regards to what’s been done around the house. We’ve done more landscaping in the back yard, had some more trees cut down, painted some rooms, re-arranged furniture, contemplated finishing things, started new things and generally been home owners who own a home that always have something to do. Also, it seems that no matter how much water I put on the grass it doesn’t want to turn into a golf course.

Jack and LaneLane:
Where to even begin with this kid?! He’s grown so much in the past year that it’s hard to capture it all even if I posted every day. There’s nothing this kid can’t do, especially if you ask him. As a general rule he really can do most things, and even things he can’t he’ll give it a try. This kid surprises me all the time. He wanted some yogurt out of the fridge the other day, so he found a stool, took it into the kitchen, climbed to the top shelf of the fridge and got it. He only likes to ask for help, so you can watch him do something on his own. He loves his family, gets frustrated and communicates why, tells jokes, remembers things that both Jess and I have long since forgotten, is able to follow even the most complex of directions. I want to freeze time so I can keep him at this age forever, but I am also excited to see what’s next in his big little world.

Friends:
It seems that these days its becoming more and more difficult to make time to hang out with my friends. We’ve all got kids now and syncing up schedules and such is always such a chore. On the off chance that we do get to hang out, its a great time. I love my friends and have some really great people in my life.

Jess:
Speaking of great people in my life…. This woman. She’s my best friend. My companion. My wife. My everything. There are days when she frustrates me, days when I frustrate her, but at the end of EVERY day there is such a deep love and respect that I can’t imagine any other life. She has grown so much as a mother, teacher, and person in the past year and I am just so proud of all the things she has accomplished. There really is a never ending list of ways I love her.

The gym:
First off, I still HATE pull-ups. I have continued to get stronger, faster, better, and more well rounded in the gym. But my hands and my grip are still weak and no matter what I do, I will most likely rip. I did the Memorial Day Murph, which has 100 pull-ups and despite finishing I did some serious damage to my hands. Despite my pull-ups not getting much better, I’ve increased the weight that I can lift via deadlift, clean, jerk, push press, drastically. But with that being said this past week I discovered that we all have bad days and my bad day was an abysmal performance while trying to do a bench press. In my attempt to simply do the same weight/reps I’ve done before I failed. A lot. This left me with a sour taste in my mouth, but at the same time, it gave me a drive to get back in the gym and work on my weakness and turn it around.

Varicose veins:
I had them, not so much any more. Many, many, many years in the making and I have finally gotten ride of the veins that were so unsightly in my legs. I’m only about a week out from my final procedure, but I can tell that things are improving. In about 5 more weeks all the swelling should be down and I’ll have some silky smooth legs! Well, maybe not that much, but they’ll be tenfold better than they were.

Chase, Jack, JessChase:
We have a teenager. And a teenager he certainly is. One minute he’s dancing and singing in the kitchen with us, the next he’s completely shut him self into his room and won’t join us for anything. He has some massive mood swings and they come out of nowhere. With that being said, he’s still a really good kid. There are other teens out there that are just unbearable, but not Chase. He has all the signs of being a teen, and just like with our other two kids, eventually he’ll grow out of that phase and move on to the next one. Hopefully the football he’s signed up for that starts in the fall will help him with that.

All the rest:
Like I mentioned earlier, I can’t begin to cover everything. My goal is to keep posting and try to capture as much of the day-to-day as I can. Pics, videos, Tweets, etc., I’d like to get it all, or at the very least a majority of it.

You don’t know Jack!

Jack Edward Turner
Jack Edward Turner

Jack Edward Turner was born at 5:32 PM, on October 27th 2014. He was a few weeks early, but came out screaming at nearly 21 inches long and weighing 7lbs on the dot! Had he gone to full term, he would have been right up there with his brother in birth size. But never fear, what Jack initially lacked in weight or overall stature, has been eclipsed by so much more.

Here’s the thing. Jack was born SEVEN weeks ago. Over a month has gone by with out even a mention on this blog. Nothing has been written or posted or anything in regards to the actual birth or the weeks proceeding. With Lane, it was like a daily habit to post something. Certainly there have been Facebook and Instagram posts, but this is the place where we’re supposed to document our family’s growth. Yet, with Jack, that hasn’t happened.

With Jack, things feel different to me. In my world he has not been an easy baby. We did everything we could to make sure things went well with the birth and even after. Yet despite our best efforts there were still complications from the beginning. For starters Jess had some pretty substantial blood loss in the hospital after Jack was born. So much so that we had to have the doctors come back in and get that stopped. It was one of the few times that I can recall nearly passing out at the sight of blood. Jack on the other hand was put in the NICU to get his breathing/oxygen under control. Oh, and his jaundice too. Cause you know… jaundice. He was over there for like 3 full days. That is crucial bonding time that both Jess and I missed. Certainly we could, well I could, walk over there and see him, but that was only for a few hours a day at most and we weren’t allowed to hold him.

After we got him out of the NICU and his breathing under control, we were faced with getting the jaundice sorted out. At the hospital they gave us a bilirubin bed to get his levels under control, but really all that did was keep him out of our hands even longer. Jess and Jack got to come home on Halloween, just in time to take the other boys out trick-or-treating. On Saturday we went to his pediatrician and were told that the jaundice had not gone down enough. So again, bili-bed! On Sunday back to the doctor and were told that his levels were to a point were we actually needed to go to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. Ugh… can we just catch a break. So we went and let me tell you… that place was so very uninviting. It was just cold, and hectic. I don’t feel like anyone there knew what they were doing and it was just very depressing to say the least. They wanted Jack and Jess to stay over night. And yet again, Jack would need to stay under the blue lights to get the levels under control.

Styling in my BiliBed

Eventually we were able to get Jack’s numbers down and were given a clean bill of health. Back home and we could finally start bonding and the journey of life with a new born. Chase and Lane were SUPER awesome older brothers. Those two boys are just amazing with occupying each other when needed and also helping out or doing what we need. I mean, not every day, but still.

So that’s like the first two weeks. Fast forward to today and I feel like I still haven’t made the deep connection like I did was Lane and honestly Chase, who isn’t even my biological son! What’s up with that? Jack, my second born son only wants to be comfortable, full, and interacted with. And here I am, struggling that on a daily basis. We’ve determined that Jack has colic and let me tell you… that is NOT fun. Lane had night terrors and I thought that was bad, but I’ll take them over colic any day. At least with a night terror its occasionally and is usually over in a relatively short amount of time. With colic it never seems to end. Jack is awake, alert, and literally inconsolable. It is every day, and several times a day. It sucks. The worst is at night. Mainly because I don’t want his crying to wake the other kids. It’s hard to get Lane back in bed these days and I don’t need my 7 week old waking my 3 year old.

I find myself getting angry at Jack, simply because he won’t eat, or he just spit up everything he DID eat, or he won’t stop moving for 10 seconds so I can change or burp him. I get mad cause he’s clean, fed, dry, warm, and I’m holding him and he’s just pitching a fit. There’s nothing I can do at that moment to make him better. He can’t tell me what’s wrong, but I know something is. I can’t fix it, so I get mad. Jack is hurting or ill or something and no matter what I do, it doesn’t get better. I hate that I take that out on him. He didn’t ask for it. The more he fusses and cries the more distant I get and want less and less to deal with it. That’s so unfair and not a healthy thing to do. In my last post, I talked about resenting him for taking my wife away from me, now that he’s here, I feel like he’s taking everything else away.

Its my job as his father to provide and love him. I’m not doing a very good job at that. But… I recognize that. I would say that I’m getting better and am gaining more patience. Its not easy, fun, or something I really want to be doing, but it is necessary. I love Jack. He’s my son and always will be. I know Jess is dealing with things in her way, and for me, I feel like I just need to keep trying and going back to the well so I can help my son through these next few months. It could be SO much worse. Yeah, it could be better, but it can always be better. That’s how life is, right?

#life
#life #grassisgreener

So, that’s where things are. I won’t say that they are easy, but at the same time it could be worse. I bet someone reading this could say “you have no idea how good you have it” or “at least you are able to have children.” And that may be true, but each person deals with and handles things differently. For me, right now, this is a struggle. I am grateful for Jess and her reminders. We are each other’s rock at this point. The thing is, neither she nor I are very patient people. But with Jack, that’s what we have to be. In the end he will teach us how to be better and we will continue to love and grow with him. We are in the middle of an unpleasant season, but like anything else it’ll pass. And things will get easier and before I know it all three boys will be running around and playing. They will be eating every possible thing in our pantry and I’ll miss the days when I could just hold them.

This post has been a long time coming. I’ve started and closed it countless times, but feel the time is right to get my thoughts and feelings out there. I love all my boys and Jack is no exception.

My mini-me!
My mini-me!

Seven days to Jack!

Jack!Where to begin…
What a whirlwind of an adventure these past few months have been. I can honestly only speak for myself, as I know Jess has had her fair share of ups and downs with this pregnancy.

In 7 days, yes SEVEN days Jack will be here. I can’t believe how quickly that crept up on us. Some how it’s flown by and crept along all the same. There were weeks and months that just wouldn’t end, but in hindsight they were gone in the blink of an eye. Jess has had a heck of a time with this one. A week ago we were in the hospital dealing with an ungodly migraine the likes that she had never experienced. A headache so bad it kept her home from work for 5 days! That’s not something you want to go through at the end of your pregnancy. Luckily, they subsided and she was back on her feet. I don’t envy what she went through, but am happy that it was relatively short-lived.

For me, I can say that I’ve gone through a lot of emotional turmoil, especially here recently. There were days when I resented Jack for taking away my wife and causing her pain, and for making her unable to enjoy things with Chase, Lane, and I. Before he was even born, I was already at a place where I was angry at him. How totally unfair is that?! My own child, who is merely growing and has no knowledge of anything other than his mother’s womb was making me angry. That only made me even more angsty. I got mad at myself for getting mad. But those days were few and far between.

There were other days when I thought how lucky I am to be able to have another child, and a boy at that! I would look at Lane or Chase, and just be utterly surprised at how wonderful they were. Two boys roughing around the house playing and laughing and having the best time of their lives. Not really knowing that in no time at all, they would have a 3rd joining their party. Lane would become an OLDER brother and get to pass down things that Chase taught him. The two of them would be best buds and go on adventures and play and do all the things that brothers do. Chase would be the older brother in the crew shuttling around his little brothers and rasslin’ with them. All the while, Jess and I would get to sit by and watch it all unfold in front of us. How did we get so lucky? Those days were far more numerous!

It all happened so fast. Just yesterday we were TALKING about getting pregnant, right? But at the same time, we had done so much these past nine months. Granted this summer was not as adventurous as last summer, but we still did a lot! We had still managed to cram a ton of things into our plate and get here to the end.

The house is ready and stocked with clothes and all the necessities needed for Jack’s arrival next week. Jess is eager to have him, if only to start the recovery process, and I simply can’t wait to meet him. I think Jess has made more of a connection with him than I did. I feel like with Lane I made a quick connection, mainly because he was my first child by birth. I had never been through something as wonderful as holding my son for the first time and all the preparations. So I was able to connect and really get involved. With Jack, it seems to me that I’ve actually grown closer to Lane and Chase. Mainly because at least over the past month or so, Jess has been unable to really participate in everything and I typically take the reigns when it comes to managing the boys. Getting them to/from school, baths, play time, shopping, etc. I’ve really had to stay on my game when it comes to their day-to-day happenings. So that has brought me closer to them. On the flip side however is that it hasn’t really allowed me to be as close to Jack as I want to be. That will all change next week. I will actually be able to hold him, see him with my own eyes, care for him, and provide the things he needs. Something only Jess has been able to do for the duration of this pregnancy. I just can’t wait to hold him and talk to him and give him all the love and attention I can.

Jess said it when she was pregnant with Lane and I didn’t fully understand it then, but the love in our lives doesn’t get divided amongst our kids, it simply grows. We somehow get more! We don’t love one kid more than the other because that’s all that we have. We love all our kids more because they bring us love in return. Jack will be a wonderful addition to our family. There will be days when we’re all fed up or sick or frustrated or tired, but those days just like any other will pass. We’ll go on adventures, take vacations to places we’ve never been, tell stories, take pictures, and keep on being the amazing family we are. Jess and I can’t wait for the next chapter in our lives, and lucky for us, we don’t have to wait much longer to experience it!