Baby Lane..’aka’ Mommy’s Zoloft.
Ok, so I’m not taking Zoloft. But this baby, and this life, make me feel like I am. Nothing better than feeling like you are flying high on Zoloft without actually being medicated, huh? This weekend has helped bring a feeling of zen over me. When these waves come, I just want to soak them in like a sponge and save them in a reserve tank to use when I have a shitty day. Today, my zen overflows. The weekend started with a sonogram of Benjamin Lane. How a baby can be cute in black and white is beyond me, but his little yawns and his little fingers and toes were just. perfection. I know he’s in there, and he’s growing, and we’re planning and painting and I feel him move…but I feel in love on that table Friday. Also, the weather this weekend is ridiculous. It makes SUCH a difference with my mood. We had lunch on a patio in Midtown yesterday and enjoyed the sunshine and walked to get yogurt and relaxed with friends and football. Today I smell freshly cut grass from my handsome husband outside cutting the yard, Adele’s on the itunes, and I’m even enjoying this paper I’m writing for grad school. Mostly because I can see the end and I know I’ll be finished with these last two classes in no time. So. Proud. Of. That.
My life is in no way perfect. I’m not delusional enough to think that. We’re going to have a huge few years ahead of us. Baby Lane coming, one more final big move (hopefully the last), possible change in career location (hopefully the last), finances/debt to continue to fix, friendships to fix, etc. But what we’re doing now, with this amazing 9 year old of ours, this partnership that’s health leaves me in awe, this baby we’ve made and this life we’re creating…this is it. Contentment is bliss…finally. 🙂