Benjamin Lane - 1 month

Over the past month I have learned a lot of interesting and fascinating things.

• Babies can go from zero to 90 in a matter of seconds.
  One moment Lane will be laying peacefully asleep and the next he’ll be crying his head off… only to be cooing and giggling a few seconds later.
• Poops come in all colors, smells, and can sneak up on you at any time of the day.
  It really doesn’t matter when Lane had eaten, when he’s ready to poop he will. The sneaky thing is, some times it’s just a fart that sounds and smells like he destroyed his diaper.
• When people tell you that you’re not going to sleep much (or at all) during the first weeks of your babies life, they mean it.
  We have battled with Lane at all hours of the day trying to get him to sleep.  Battling with a baby takes time, and takes away from sleeping.
• One size doesn’t fit all when it comes to beds, pillows, bottles, formula, etc.
  In the past month Lane has had no less than 4 types of nipples/bottles, 5 different apparatuses to sleep in, and 3 types of formula. In addition to that some 0-3 month onesies fit while others are snug.
• You can’t spoil a newborn.
  It doesn’t matter how much I hold Lane, if I put him down and he starts to cry or whimper again, I’ll snatch him back up. Holding my son never gets old.
• You can’t get too comfortable with the way things are.
  Some nights he likes pajamas other nights he doesn’t. One day he’ll love taking a bath the next day he hates it. Just because he enjoyed something once doesn’t mean he will again. He, like his mom and I are constantly learning and changing.

The list could go on and on. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how a child so small can have an enormous impact on my life. Jess and I are all that Lane has. He came in to this world a month ago not having any idea what was going on. He could never comprehend life outside the womb and everything he knows or has learned so far has been by us. I can’t wait until the 2 months, 10 months, 5 years, etc. Just to watch this little guy grow and learn is just a wonderful process. He has changed my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy one month birthday my son!

Bacon, Egg, and Cheese breakfast cups

Around here, breakfast on Saturday mornings gives us the opportunity to try something new and delicious. I often find myself wanting to get up and make some sort of extravagant meal involving tons of ingredients and steps and something that takes a considerable amount of time to prepare. Then again, I also find that waking up and having a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal works just as well.

This morning, however was one of those rare occasions when I had a chance to make something that didn’t take up a ton or time and was doubly tasty. We knew that Chase was going to be with his dad and that it would be a good opportunity to try something from Pinterest. Everyone oohs and awws over the offerings on there and why not get to it and make something that we wouldn’t normally have the opportunity to try.

For today’s meal I found some Bacon, Egg, and Cheese breakfast cups. There are a dozen or so recipes, but they pretty much all accomplish the same task, put bacon, eggs, cheese, and toast into a bite size portion for easy consumption. Jess got the stuff while at the store yesterday and I woke up nice and early to get these made so we could enjoy them. So while Lane and Jess snoozed away, I made the delicacy you see above. They were super easy, tasted fantastic, and were pretty damn filling. I can’t wait to look for more breakfast or dinner… or lunch ideas.

In case you are curious, here is the recipe:

• 6 slices of bread
• 6+ pieces of bacon
• 6 eggs
• 6 tablespoons of sharp cheddar cheese (or any kind of cheese for that matter)
• 6 gallons of butter (or use your best judgement)

Coat the wells of a muffing pan with a little butter or cooking spray, or bacon grease if you really wanted to. Then using a cookie cutter, knife, sword, fist, or teeth cut the center of the bread and place in the muffin pan. It’s a good idea to keep it about the same size as the bottoms so that everything else (mostly the bacon) will fit in nicely. Cooking the bacon until it is just slightly under what you would normally like it to be. My wife likes her bacon crispy so I cooked it for about 5 mins. The trick is to make sure that it is pliable enough to wrap around the molds in the muffin pan. Once you have the bacon cooked, cooled, and patted down (I wouldn’t hurt to get rid of SOME of the bacon fat you know) place it in the muffin pan forming a little bacon cup. Once you have all of your bacon bread cups made, sprinkle a little cheese in each one. Now crack the eggs and place the yolk in, making sure not to break them. You won’t need all of the whites so I cracked the eggs in a bowl first then just put in what I needed of the whites. After all your cups are full of egg, top with salt and pepper and any other garnishment you would like, I prefer paprika, but this is up to you. Yes, you have a choice in this! Now bake your little meat cups for about 8-11 minutes until the whites are no longer clear and the yolks are good and runny. You might like the yolks a bit stiffer, or you might go all Rocky and eat them raw. But there you have it! Delicious meat, cheese, egg breakfast cups.

Oh, and knowing that most people won’t read the whole paragraph, here’s a summary:

• Spray muffin pan
• Cut bread into circles
• Put in pan
• Cook bacon about 5 mins or long enough where it is almost done
• Wrap bacon around the wall of the wells in the muffin pan
• Put cheese in the meat cup
• Put some egg in there
• Cook about 11 minutes
• Eat it

6:30 bed time

Sleep has quickly become a topic of much discussion around the Turner house. We’re to the point where we’ll take it any chance we can get.

Recently Lane has had some stomach issues that keep him up more than a 3 week old should be. And as everyone knows, when the baby is awake, we’re all awake. For now, he’s snoozing in his little bed, so mom took this opportunity to grab a little shut-eye as well.

I’m sure it’ll all work out soon, but for the time being we’ll just keep on snoozing on the couch or going to bed at all hours of the day.

First, his belly button fell off! Yay! This means no more sponge baths or folding down the diaper. Just a normal (ish) belly button that’s good to go in a big boy tub! Speaking of big boy baths, we have video of his first. Let me just preface that post by saying BLT is NOT a fan of the tub. Considering his behaviors elsewhere, I’m thinking it’s because he hates to be cold….something else we’ve learned about our little boy in this short time. As soon as Ben realized that Lane didn’t like to be cold and found him some comfy, warm pjs, well…he’s been sleeping much better at night. Maybe next time I’ll put his cute little butt in the tub with me.

Another thing we’ve gotten the hang of is nursing. Having a VBAC, and successfully breastfeeding, were two goals I set for myself early on in this pregnancy.  Now, the VBAC isn’t entirely in my control (well, not at all in my control), and if you read the previous posts you’ll see why it didn’t happen.  But breastfeeding I can do. And am doing, quite beautifully.  We’ve had a few bumps in the road with it just like anything else. Lane is supplementing with formula to help with his jaundice and throughout this process my supply has dipped a bit.  But, there are still several times a day when I am able to cradle my guy and bond with him in a way I never have. What I initially thought would be awkward or unnatural for me has turned out to be second nature and cathartic for my spirit. I’m hoping I can continue this with him for another few weeks….

Last to mention is Lane’s “playtime”. I’m not sure if you know anything about newborns, but they pretty much sleep all the time. ALL, the time. But over the past two weeks Lane’s favorite time to be awake is after feeding, and after a diaper change. Sometimes he falls right back to sleep, but more often lately he likes to look, and stare, and whoever it is that’s holding him. These have got to be my favorite times so far. Most of the time we just stare at each other for 15-20 minutes at a time. I talk to him, and he doesn’t respond much except with random reflexive smiles or yawns. He loves when I stroke his face or give him kisses. It’s a very easy, simple time where we get to know each other and bond in yet another amazing way.

Tomorrow Ben goes back to work, Chase is at school, and it’s just BLT and I on most days. I am looking forward to spending alone time with my handsome boy, but  also anxious about my other handsome guy being so far away. I take comfort, however, that in our experience, no matter how much space is between Ben and I…we’re never really apart after all.

Ben arrived in record time and we loaded up for the 45 minute drive to the hospital. We broke a few laws in the process of getting there, but I felt some relief when we turned the corner and saw the hospital. When I got to the door and stood up, I felt another gush. I found a bathroom while Ben tried to find a doctor or some sort of direction where to go. Someone got me a wheelchair, but with blood stained pajama paints and a 9 month pregnant stomach I’m sure I was quite the site. Before I knew it two nurses were beside me wheeling me to labor and delivery. From here things moved very, very quickly. My clothes were off, IV’s were in, paperwork signed, questions answered, and doctors/anesthesiologists were surrounding. Thankfully, my mom, sister, and best friend showed up around this time and were able to distract Chase from the hectic nature and his mom in the hospital bed. A heart monitor was strapped on first thing and I heard the quick pitter patter of my baby. Yes. That’s what I needed to hear. Then, the nurse checked me and told me that my cervix was completely closed. As soon as she said that, I knew my dreams of a VBAC were vanished and that a repeat C-Section was inevitable. At this point, my dreams had changed though. I just wanted to get Lane out safely, and make sure I was going to be ok. Within 15 minutes of being rolled back, I was being rolled into the operating room. At this point I still wasn’t sure why I was bleeding, I just knew Lane needed to come out. Then came another heart break….my husband was not going to be allowed to be in the delivery room with me. Because of my condition, I needed to be put to sleep and have a breathing tube. We both kinda sat in silence at this news, a bit shocked. I remember the look on both of our faces reading “Well yeah, it’s an emergency c-section, but I mean, he can still come, right?”. Wrong. Quick kisses and positive words later and I was being prepped. Seconds later I was out.

I woke up in recovery to what was some of the worse pain of my life. Because the surgery needed to happen so quickly, I wasn’t given an epidural to numb my bottom half. Instead, they gave me a morphine drip to press every 8 minutes and told me it would take a little while to “catch up” with the pain. All I remember is shaking, freezing, and feeling like….well like I’d been cut in half. Ben was there as soon as I opened my eyes though and told me to look over and there he was. Alive, beautiful, and perfect. Our little Lane made it into this world and nothing else mattered. I vaguely remember Ben whispering “look at this…”, and pulling off Lane’s hospital hat. Oh. My. Goodness! He had a head FULL of thick, black hair just like his mommy. My heart doubled in size. His pouty lips only added to the fact that this son of mine was actually going to resemble me. It was amazing. The nursing came in and mentioned that he breathing was a bit rapid, and that they were going to monitor him in the nursery while I recovered and got admitted into a room.

Several, several clicks of that morphine pump later, I was in a room surrounded by loved ones and family waiting to hold my baby for the first time. Unfortunately, that’s all I really did all night. Press that pump, and wait. Lane stayed in the nursery having his breathing regulated until 5am. Every time the door made a sound, or a nurse came in to check my vitals, Ben and I would both jump…eager to see a bassinet rolling through the doors. Finally, on very little sleep and high anxiety, we met our son again early the next morning. We both got to hold him, and kiss him, and cry over him, and run our hands through his hair, and just stare in awe at the creation we made. It was a moment I will never forget. He was perfection.

The next few days are kind of a blur. I stayed pretty medicated and Ben nested around the room every hour or so. Even the custodial staff who came to clean once a day commented on how clean our room was. I think my husband just needed to keep himself busy during the times we waiting on more information about our son. His breathing was still not completely normal, so a chest x ray and echo were ordered to rule out anything else that may be causing his rapid breathing. In the end, the nurses say that c-section babies take longer to transition than others. I believe they were right. I also got a visit from my doctor explaining to me that I had a what is called a placental abruption. I had read about this complication before, and knew it could be quite serious. My current blood levels were very low, and the doctor wanted to order a transfusion. She gave me a day or so, and the nurses monitored my behavior when I got up and down to use the restroom. I had minimal dizziness, and didn’t pass out, so they allowed me to bypass the transfusion and just up my iron intake to two pills a day. I was thankful for the good news.

We had several visitors over the next day or so, and everyone marveled over how beautiful our boy is. We were blessed with dinners and help with Chase and kind words…all of which are appreciated more than they know. Our last hurdle came the day we were hoping to go home. Ben had packed up the room, taken half of our things to the car, and the nurse came in to tell us that Lane had jaundice, and that his levels would require him to stay another night under phototherapy. Ever had a baby or spoken to one immediately after delivery? Well, emotions are a roller coaster and the news that something else was wrong, that we weren’t going home, that Lane needed to be on these bilirubin blankets ALL night….well I was just overwhelmed and tired and hormonal to say the least. Even though Ben was going stir crazy in the hospital as well, we were able to do what we always do….be the one person each other needs when things get rough. That night Ben stayed home with Chase and Lane stayed in the nursery with his bilirubin blanket. I had a few hours of alone time before I took my pain meds and passed out, and I gained some perspective during this alone time. I felt so lucky, and so blessed, and so humbled at what I had been given. Before Ben and Chase left we had our first alone time together as a family of four and again, my heart doubled in size. I honestly can’t put it into words.

Finally, on Saturday, we were given the ok to go home. Lane’s levels were not low, but they were down enough that we could go home. Once we got home a whole new nervousness set in. This was it. It’s just us now. Not even 24 hours later though and we all fell into our routines. Chase went to school, my milk came in and Lane nursed beautifully, and our new normal was off to an amazing start. It’s funny how Ben and I always used to say “one of these days we’ll have a little baby to hold, and feed, and change, and have in the bed with us”….but to actually have it become our reality has exceeded any expectations I could have had. Ben is an amazing daddy. He has picked up his new job so naturally and it has filled my heart to see him and Lane together. Chase is enjoying being a big brother, and is helping and loving on Lane any chance he can get. For me, my heart has grown so much over this last week or so that’s it’s hard to fully grasp the enormity of it all. When I look at my family, at my husband who’s support and love and help have calmed me as usual….I just feel blessed. And thankful. This little boy of ours is so beautiful it hurts. I look at him and see Ben’s eyes, my lips, my hair, and Ben’s nose. His noises and coos and even his cries are adorable. He has changed all of our lives, that’s for sure, and I’m so excited to see just how amazing our new normal is.

Jess get's to touch Lane for the first time

Around 2:45 Jess texted me saying that she was having contractions. This was nothing new since she had been having them off and on for the past week or so. This time however they didn’t go away. She had a bath and tried a few different techniques, but the contractions persisted and eventually got worse. We chatted back and forth and she kept me in the loop since I was roughly an hour away at work. When 4:00 rolled around and they were getting worse I knew it was time to leave, so I packed up and hit the road lickety-split.

By the time I had gotten in my car and on my way, she called and told me that she had begun bleeding. It wasn’t just a normal bleed, but something a bit more constant and indicative that the baby was on his way. She spoke with a doctor who told her that it would be best to not wait for me and that getting to the hospital was her priority. This, was not an option for me. So I made like Vin Diesel and got home Fast and Furious style. By the time I got home Chase had already gotten the car packed and ready to roll. It was now 5:00 and we were heading to the hospital…another 20 or so miles away.

Jess was in a lot of pain, Chase was kinda freakin’ out and my baby was on his way. So again I made like a bandit and high-tailed it to the hospital. Luckily we had been to the hospital before for a tour, but in our panic mode we didn’t exactly remember how to get to the maternity section. As soon as we got out of the car Jess’ water broke, however it wasn’t just water, it was blood and a lot of it. She went to the bathroom and I rushed to the front desk to find some help. The ladies, though they were nice were extremely unhelpful. Eventually we got someone to come and help out and get us to the maternity ward where we could find out why there was so much bleeding.

The doctors examined her and found that she was not dilated at all. So for her to be contracting, bleeding and not dilated it meant that something was wrong and she had to have a c-section, now. The room was a blur with people. From doctors asking family history questions, other’s getting papers signed and putting wrist bands on the both of us. Chase was hanging out in the bathroom to avoid all the blood, but he was a trooper! Due to the fact that she had lost all the blood and Lane needed to come out immediately, they were going to put Jess to sleep. Since she was going completely under, I couldn’t go back with her. When I found this out I was torn. I wanted what was best for Jess and the baby, but I wanted to be with her. Eventually they took her away and off Chase and I went to the waiting room. By now it was 6:15 and it would be just a matter of time before my baby boy would be born.

Heather, Jess’ mom and sister were in the waiting room and I updated them on all the deets. We had some food and all guessed the time, birth weight, and length. None of us were right. Benjamin Lane Turner was born at 6:30pm. In less than 15 mins they had taken Jess back to surgery, put her under and delivered our baby.

Around 7:15 I got to go back and see him. Words really can’t express my feelings when I saw him for the first time. He was so beautiful. Lane was smaller than either of us had thought he would be. In addition to that, he had a head full of black hair! Jess had been wanting a baby that looked like her, and she finally had one. He had her hair and lips, but he has my eyes and it looks like he’s got my stature. You can tell he’s our son and he’s wonderful.

Eventually they brought Jess around and man was she in pain. They had her pretty drugged up to deal with the pain, but she was coherent enough to see our son. Happiness was all over her face despite the pain she had from the surgery. It was still too early for her to hold him or for her to have visitors, but they got to be close to one another. Witnessing my wife and our baby laying there beside one another was a moment I’ll never forget. I wanted other’s to be able to see the baby so I went out the waiting room and got my mom. She went back and saw Jess and Lane.

Around 8:15 they moved Jess to a room where she could rest/recover and see more visitors. My mom, her mom, sister, best friend, and Chase were all waiting on us. I doubt Jess remembers all of being back there, she was pretty out of it. Unfortunately Lane was not going to be able to join us. Due to the nature of his delivery he had to go to the care unit/nursery to recover. We were all getting antsy to see Lane, but the doctors insisted on keeping him back there. By 10pm everyone was getting tired and we still didn’t know when Lane would be joining us.

The next several hours would be spent waiting for news. The doctors said that since he wasn’t delivered vaginally he didn’t have the opportunity to get a lot of the fluid out of his lungs. In addition to that he was having fluctuations in his breathing. They wanted him to be monitored until it was consistent. I got to go back and see him once, but for the most part it was just Jess and I waiting in the room. Jess was still in a lot of pain so she kept up with the morphine drip. The nurses kept coming in throughout the night so neither of us ever got any real sleep. They were going to bring Lane in around 1am, but he started his irregular breathing again. So back to the recoup room for him. We finally got him in our room around 5. Nearly 12 hours after he was born.

We had done it 2 hours after leaving work our beautiful baby was born. 24+ hours and about 45 mins of sleep. We were both exhausted, but had a long next day ahead of us. I love my son. He is everything I could possibly imagine, and much more.

January 3rd, 2012 @ 6:30 PM

February brought us Gracie. A Great Dane that would put us to the test.

Click here to view the embedded video.

March ushered in some Spring little league for Chase. He really got into the ‘swing’ of things and enjoyed himself.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I don’t think much happened in April. Well… I mean Chase did get to go a Wrestlemania Art show, meet a bunch of wrestlers and then go to the actual PPV. Oh, and there was Tax Day. Hmm… something else happened… Oh that’s right, WE GOT MARRIED!!!! It was a wonderfully magic wedding. Everything we had hope for. I got to finally call the love of my life my bride, and it was the beginning of our forever. The honeymoon was in Vegas, and well… and we know good and well what happens in Vegas, doesn’t always stay in Vegas. In addition to finding out we were pregnant (but really what could top that) we spent the May kinda floating around in happiness and bliss.

Every summer we like to take a family vacation, and a pregnancy this year wasn’t going to slow us down. For the 2011 Summer Vacation we decided it would be a lot of fun to head to Disney! We loaded up the car and drove down to the most magical place on earth. Chase had never been and neither Jess nor I had been in SEVERAL years so it worked out perfectly. It wasn’t easy for Jess with the heat and the walking plus being pregnant, but we made it. It was a great vacation and a birthday I don’t think Chase will ever forget.

The rest of the summer went on by, carrying with the ups and downs of being pregnant. We found out we were having a boy and man, that made me excited. I was the last male Turner and to be able to continue the name, meant a lot to me.

As August rolled around we started getting read to go back to school, and doing just normal family things. Chase was doing great and really getting into the spirit of being an older brother. He was helping around the house and he just felt a little more grown up. October would creep upon us before we knew it and in addition to me getting a new car and turning 32 it started to really sink in that I was going to be a daddy, very soon.

Between Halloween and right now it’s all kind of a blur. It’s as if time sped up and didn’t really wait. We had our first, and second baby shower and started getting the nursery ready. Baby clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, bottles, all of it started coming in and every time we would get something new it would sink in just a bit more how soon this bundle of joy would be here. Lane’s nursery looked fantastic and in no time at all everything was in its right place and we could start getting ready for the holidays.

Baby Lane's Room

Our Christmas tree was up BEFORE Thanksgiving, and the house was all set and ready to go. We made our rounds to friends and family. Did the gift exchanges and then it was Christmas day at the Turner household. I couldn’t have asked for a better holiday season. My wife was glowing with that baby glow, Chase was happy and doing all the big brother things and I was doing everything I can to make the house and my wife ready for this baby.

In contrast to the rest of the year, this past week has been filled with lots of taking it slow. Everything we could possibly do to be prepared for Lane, we have done. The bags are packed, the car seat is in, clothes washed and put away, house is secure, etc. You name it, we’ve done it. Now all we need is for Lane to come home.

It’s been such a wonderful year. I’m sure I left things out, but it’s all good. They say that the first year of marriage is the toughest thing you’ll go through other than the 9 months your wife is pregnant. Well, I’ve done both at the same time and I’m more in love now than the day I got married and I don’t see signs of this ever stopping.

That's my boy!

Thanks for all the memories 2011, but it’s time for 2012!

~SB