Benjamin Lane - 1 month

Over the past month I have learned a lot of interesting and fascinating things.

• Babies can go from zero to 90 in a matter of seconds.
  One moment Lane will be laying peacefully asleep and the next he’ll be crying his head off… only to be cooing and giggling a few seconds later.
• Poops come in all colors, smells, and can sneak up on you at any time of the day.
  It really doesn’t matter when Lane had eaten, when he’s ready to poop he will. The sneaky thing is, some times it’s just a fart that sounds and smells like he destroyed his diaper.
• When people tell you that you’re not going to sleep much (or at all) during the first weeks of your babies life, they mean it.
  We have battled with Lane at all hours of the day trying to get him to sleep.  Battling with a baby takes time, and takes away from sleeping.
• One size doesn’t fit all when it comes to beds, pillows, bottles, formula, etc.
  In the past month Lane has had no less than 4 types of nipples/bottles, 5 different apparatuses to sleep in, and 3 types of formula. In addition to that some 0-3 month onesies fit while others are snug.
• You can’t spoil a newborn.
  It doesn’t matter how much I hold Lane, if I put him down and he starts to cry or whimper again, I’ll snatch him back up. Holding my son never gets old.
• You can’t get too comfortable with the way things are.
  Some nights he likes pajamas other nights he doesn’t. One day he’ll love taking a bath the next day he hates it. Just because he enjoyed something once doesn’t mean he will again. He, like his mom and I are constantly learning and changing.

The list could go on and on. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how a child so small can have an enormous impact on my life. Jess and I are all that Lane has. He came in to this world a month ago not having any idea what was going on. He could never comprehend life outside the womb and everything he knows or has learned so far has been by us. I can’t wait until the 2 months, 10 months, 5 years, etc. Just to watch this little guy grow and learn is just a wonderful process. He has changed my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy one month birthday my son!

February brought us Gracie. A Great Dane that would put us to the test.

Click here to view the embedded video.

March ushered in some Spring little league for Chase. He really got into the ‘swing’ of things and enjoyed himself.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I don’t think much happened in April. Well… I mean Chase did get to go a Wrestlemania Art show, meet a bunch of wrestlers and then go to the actual PPV. Oh, and there was Tax Day. Hmm… something else happened… Oh that’s right, WE GOT MARRIED!!!! It was a wonderfully magic wedding. Everything we had hope for. I got to finally call the love of my life my bride, and it was the beginning of our forever. The honeymoon was in Vegas, and well… and we know good and well what happens in Vegas, doesn’t always stay in Vegas. In addition to finding out we were pregnant (but really what could top that) we spent the May kinda floating around in happiness and bliss.

Every summer we like to take a family vacation, and a pregnancy this year wasn’t going to slow us down. For the 2011 Summer Vacation we decided it would be a lot of fun to head to Disney! We loaded up the car and drove down to the most magical place on earth. Chase had never been and neither Jess nor I had been in SEVERAL years so it worked out perfectly. It wasn’t easy for Jess with the heat and the walking plus being pregnant, but we made it. It was a great vacation and a birthday I don’t think Chase will ever forget.

The rest of the summer went on by, carrying with the ups and downs of being pregnant. We found out we were having a boy and man, that made me excited. I was the last male Turner and to be able to continue the name, meant a lot to me.

As August rolled around we started getting read to go back to school, and doing just normal family things. Chase was doing great and really getting into the spirit of being an older brother. He was helping around the house and he just felt a little more grown up. October would creep upon us before we knew it and in addition to me getting a new car and turning 32 it started to really sink in that I was going to be a daddy, very soon.

Between Halloween and right now it’s all kind of a blur. It’s as if time sped up and didn’t really wait. We had our first, and second baby shower and started getting the nursery ready. Baby clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, bottles, all of it started coming in and every time we would get something new it would sink in just a bit more how soon this bundle of joy would be here. Lane’s nursery looked fantastic and in no time at all everything was in its right place and we could start getting ready for the holidays.

Baby Lane's Room

Our Christmas tree was up BEFORE Thanksgiving, and the house was all set and ready to go. We made our rounds to friends and family. Did the gift exchanges and then it was Christmas day at the Turner household. I couldn’t have asked for a better holiday season. My wife was glowing with that baby glow, Chase was happy and doing all the big brother things and I was doing everything I can to make the house and my wife ready for this baby.

In contrast to the rest of the year, this past week has been filled with lots of taking it slow. Everything we could possibly do to be prepared for Lane, we have done. The bags are packed, the car seat is in, clothes washed and put away, house is secure, etc. You name it, we’ve done it. Now all we need is for Lane to come home.

It’s been such a wonderful year. I’m sure I left things out, but it’s all good. They say that the first year of marriage is the toughest thing you’ll go through other than the 9 months your wife is pregnant. Well, I’ve done both at the same time and I’m more in love now than the day I got married and I don’t see signs of this ever stopping.

That's my boy!

Thanks for all the memories 2011, but it’s time for 2012!

~SB

Look what Santa left for Christmas!

Christmas has come and gone, though not by much. The tree is still up, there’s still remnants of wrapping paper, bows, and tape lying around. The ‘new car’ smell on all the toys is still there, but the actual day has passed. That by no means, indicates that all the joy and happiness of the season has moved on as well.

Chase is off at his dad’s, playing with his toys there while his other pile awaits him here. Jess and I both are enjoying each other’s company and all the wonderful things ‘Santa’ has brought us. We had a very modest Christmas this year, especially when compared to years past. No extravagant over the top, out-doing each other. We kept it simple, because stirring around in Jess’ belly is the greatest gift we could have possibly gotten this season. With Lane on the way we knew it would be a whirlwind of going here and there, doctors appointments, late nights, early mornings, feeding, pooping, and all the things that come with having a newborn in the house. We have done everything we can to get ready, and now that Christmas has come and gone we are ready.

This house has been filled with the highest of highs, and some of the lowest of lows the past few weeks. The stress of the season plus the preparations to get things ready for Lane has certainly taken its toll on this family, but we have weathered through it. We have grown stronger and closer with each passing day. Lane doesn’t know it yet, but he has made this family stronger. Chase and I are now closer than we’ve ever been. Jess and I are a lot more understanding and patient with one another, and we, as a family are generally a lot more open and happy with each other. In a few short weeks we will have a little one to care for. A baby that was born from two people who love each other more than they ever thought possible.

This Christmas I have received the greatest gift of all, my family. It is growing in size and happiness and love, and what more could I possibly ask for. Well a Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time would be nice. But then again, I’d probably shoot my eye out.

In a typical day, I’ll wear clothes from Banana Republic or Target or maybe some other random store I’ve shopped at. Some times I wear shorts and a t-shirt, sometimes I wear jeans and a nice shirt. I drink coffee from Starbucks or maybe Folgers that I brewed at home. On Friday’s I go with my family to a gas station to get what we call “Zombie Biscuits” from an old lady who is there 6 days a week serving food to truckers, teachers, and business people. I drive my GMC Terrain into the city and get approximately 19.5 miles to the gallon. I pass a dozen or so people who are homeless as well as people in suits. I listen to Spotify on my iPhone 3Gs today, but tomorrow it’ll be on my iPhone 4s.

While at work I use the computer my company provided. This is the same computer that my wife also uses at home for doing her grad school work. Sometimes for lunch I have leftovers from the night before, some times I go to Subway and Eat Fresh, other times I let the company pay for my over priced kobe beef hamburger at a local steak house. In a typical 9 hour day, I cram in about 7 hours of work. The other 2 hours I’m eating lunch, peeing, or just chatting with co-workers who are sharing the same typical day as me. Some days I work late, and other days I head out early to beat the traffic, but I always hop on line later to check in. I work when I get home, when I’m on the road, on the weekends, and while on vacation. But I also think about my family 24/7, regardless of work.

After work I go to the gym, or go to my son’s ball game/practice, or maybe I go get dinner at La Parilla, or Olive Garden, or some other chain restaurant. Most of the time I have dinner that my wife cooked using the groceries we bought the weekend before. After dinner, we watch the shows that are on the DVR and skip all the commercials. Some times I play World of Warcraft, some times I play the Wii or PS3 with our son. Regardless of what we do, we are together.

The next day, I repeat my routine… or maybe I switch it up a bit. Maybe I work from home.

In the end, I am mainly concerned about the wellbeing of my family. They occupy me. I don’t really care about Wallstreet or big corporations or anything beyond the scope of my day. I know there are families in other countries, states, cities, houses, that are struggling, but I refuse to give up that which provides for my family. I wish the best for all the others in the world. I want the best for everyone, but I also want the best for me. I will continue to work and push upwards get the things I need and want.

So that’s that. My family occupies me. I occupy me.

Below are some pics of Lane in all his baby glory. I’ve not seen his face yet, but I know he is going to be beautiful and amazing.

UPDATE:
This post was originally made back in Sept, and I’ve yet to get around to actually uploading the photos. That doesn’t change the fact that my little boy is still safe, and warm, and kickin’ like a soccer player. I’ve had the joy of feeling him move around in SJ’s belly and it brings me to such a happy place. I can just picture him squirming around, being all baby like and happy. We got his room set up and I know I’ll be spending many hours in there with him, cleaning up poop, sleeping, doing my best to get him back to sleep at 2am, and all the things that come with being a father to a newborn.

I can’t wait. My life is changing, and it’s all for the better.

One of the things that really hit me while at Disney was the fact that I had managed to take my family on a week long vacation to Disney (and surrounding theme parks). We all have a dream and visions of the future and what we would like to do with our lives. We also have visions of the past. Things we look back on that make us smile or cry or wonder how in the world we got where we are today. For me it is thoughts of my parents doing what ever they could to make us kids happy. Whether it was my mom never pausing to take a moment for herself or my dad and his in-ability to let someone be in need of something. I always wanted a family of my own. A wife, son/daughter (both) that I could take on trips and share Christmas morning with and do all the things that father’s are supposed to do. Well, this vacation gave me another piece of that magic puzzle

We were sitting at dinner and I was watching Chase and Jess eat there overly priced, underly flavored meal and it hit me. I made it. I did what I wanted to do and I had managed to save up the money, get a job that allowed me the time off, planned and followed through on a big summer vacation. You see families do it all the time but you never think, or maybe you do, that it’ll be you there. Those pics of dad’s and their families in front of the castle or sitting on the beach. Those old home movies of us laughing or just walking around, I now had some of my own. This trip was my moment.

So that’s that. I’m still working on sorting out the photos and editing the video, but the memories are there. I am one step closer to being the father I never even knew I could be. I love my family. My beautiful wife is carrying MY child. Our son is growing smarter and more like the both of us every day. It’s a fantastic time in my life and I can’t wait to look back on right now with my grand kids and tell them that one day they will be taking their kids on some magical vacation that will change everything.

Magic Kingdom - Family photo

It’s been three weeks and we are still going strong! Good sign, right?? What an amazing few weeks it’s been. We have an awesome concert and unforgettable honeymoon to blog about soon, but nothing can overshadow the big day. I knew just as much as I was forcing time to fly by, the wedding day and events would go by just as fast. I remember heading to the ceremony wishing I could press a pause button for a day or so. Everything was so perfectly beautiful. Thunderstorms moved the ceremony inside, but considering our number of guests I think it turned out more intimate and special anyway. All of our favorite people showed up to wish us well. A great friend of mine told me recently that “as soon as you say ‘I do’ everything will just calm down and make sense”.  She was so right. I am generally anxiety driven, and this honeymoon phase has me feeling calmer and more peaceful than ever. I see a path for our family, and for once I don’t feel like it’s a path I ‘should’ be on, but a path I want to be on. I will bookmark this post so 5 years from now I can remember how blissful we were….in the midst of bitching about his socks in the floor. Although, as my husband confirms, we are the exception….so maybe I’ll just come back to check the pics.

Speaking of pics. They are shit. The woman who runs Le Bam got her husband to be the “photographer”. I get this will save her money, and I saw what he was shooting with so I figured “well…that camera will work for itself”. Wrong. SB emailed her about our dissatisfaction, and she claims they were “not ready to be released and needed more editing”. Ya think? Either way, there are a few keepers and enough to get a couple framed. Other than the pics and the DJ playing ALL hip hop songs, this wedding was my favorite so far! Now it’s time to just calm down, push through these last three weeks of school, and spend the summer with this amazing little family of mine that I am just sickeningly in love with. <3

So let’s get real. I’ve been absent from the blog lately because school has me crazy. After school tutoring until 5 and Math Team and Talent Shows and Grad School and planning a wedding….there’s lots going on.  Even in the midst of that I need want to blog more. To scrapbook my memories..to get thoughts out and spare my poor fiance a bit..to share what’s real.

Sometimes…I just get sad. I have a “cloudy” day and I just chalk it up to “one of those days”.  Maybe it’s because I don’t handle hurt, disappointment, failure well. (Who does, right?). So I don’t deal with those gross things.  I dig a trench, and bury them under. Maybe the bastards find a way to crawl out from under the dirt whenever they’d like and give me a week of struggles.  Maybe I’m just a woman. Hormonal. Moody. High maintenance. Either way, I get en-capsuled in this shell. Joy and life and normalcy fly by and simply bounce off my shell.  It is very. frustrating. It feels like I’m a prisoner and as hard as I try I just cannot get the damn thing to budge.  Sleep though…sleep always feels better. All my stupid little shell needs is for me to be tired, or for me to fight with my mom, or for one forgotten check to clear…and it’s made of steel. Interestingly enough, I can wake up the next day…or in four days…and it’s gone. I am free.

Thankfully, I have SB on my side.  Where that man gets all his patience…I will never understand.  He also struggles with his own ‘clouds’, and maybe that’s why he’s so good at noticing mine.  When I smile and fake it, he always knows that deep down I’m struggling.  I’m learning that maybe I can be in control of the things that make me feel so…out of control.  SB has a way of not breaking my shell for me, but pushing me towards opportunities and reasons to break myself free on my own. Sunday morning I just.wanted.to.sleep. All day. Curtains drawn. TV low. I craved it. “Let’s go climb a mountain..” he said. *Vomit* is what I thought. That is the LAST thing I wanted to do. But I did it. I watched behind my Kardashian sunglasses as my son played ‘lava’ with SB. As dads with babies on their backs and young couples with dogs all made the trek to the top. The view is always great and the fresh air was intoxicating. By the time we got to the bottom, my shell had some pretty substantial holes in it. Maybe I am in control of this damn thing after all….

I want to post this and these pictures to remember that sometimes, things just suck. Parents die and friends disappear and humans disappoint you. It’s okay to be sad. It’s also okay to move on from that sadness….One mountain at a time.

Gracie, Jess, and Chase

This post is WELL over due, but I reckon there’s no time like the present to get caught up on things.

The backstory:
SJ was messing around on Facebook and came across a co-worker that posted about a Great Dane her sister found abandoned by their neighbor. The sister already had 3 dogs and was living in a town home, so the addition of a dog of this size was just not going to work. The co-worker was desperately looking for someone that would take care of this poor dog. Well, Jess and I just couldn’t pass up on this opportunity. We knew we had the space so that was not an issue. Jan, the puppy we rescued over the summer, was lonely during the days when we were at work, and a companion would make a world of difference for her. So the decision was made and 3 days later we were off to pick up our new pup.

Homecoming:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Freedom!

Growing pains:
Adjustment to having Gracie around didn’t come easy. We were not use to caring for a dog this size. She was about 2.5 times bigger than Jan and ate like a horse. She required lots of attention, both from us and the vet (to get her health back up and to get her spayed). She was full of energy and strength. Walking her was difficult and often times it was easier to just not go. However, over time we got more and more use to the way she lumbered about, whacking things with her tail. Her spirit is still as strong as ever and we love that about her. She has been as patient with us as we have been with her. Gracie and Jan have become the best of buds, even though they can be heard tumbling around and chasing each other all over the back yard. I’m not sure of the life she led with her previous owners, whether there was a large yard to play in or if she was cooped up all day in a crate. I do know that she loves being outside and running laps around the yard. We will continue to develop routines and work with her on training and behavior as she still likes to jump on people, but then again I reckon that’s most dogs. It’s just that most dogs aren’t the size of small horses.

The future:
Gracie is here to stay. I have always wanted a large dog and now I have one! I also have a small dog, and a cat, and fish, and a wonderful son and a fiancé. Gracie is a wonderful addition to our family. I love her very much and can’t wait for the walks in the park or taking her on car rides. She has a very kind and loving personality. She’s a great older sister to Jan and protector of the house (just ask any garbage man or UPS guy). Stay tuned for more updates!

Speaking of family…I am SO proud of my side this year! I have silently proclaimed myself as the new matriarch of this family and hosted dinner/presents at our house this year. We had a delicious meal, talked nicely, opened gifts, and ate brownies. ALL without the first smart ass comment or sarcasm from ANYone.  Those who know us…know this was truly a Christmas miracle. I hope this is a sign of more peace and understanding to come with all of us.

Then, of course, there’s Santa! Chase woke up to everything he wanted and then some. I heard him wake up (way too early) and walk into the living room and whisper “Haaaaaaah!”. Then promptly walk his bare feet back to his room. A few minutes later he was in our bedroom talking about how Santa left a basketball goal and he ate his cookies and drank his milk.  I soaked up the excitement in his voice and listened to the quiet voice in my head that told me this may be our last “Santa” Christmas we get to have with him. It made me sad to know that my little boy is getting so big and will soon face the realities of the world, but I saved that for another day and ran into the living room to scope out the loot! Santa spoiled us, and SB did too.  He followed my Amazon wish list closely and I was thrilled.

Christmas lunch started at SB’s parent’s house.  As soon as we walked in we were greeted with hugs, presents, and the most delicious smell of a home cooked meal. Gah…I really do love these people! So different from my family, and appreciated more than I’m sure they know.  SB’s mom surprised me with a sewing machine and all the necessities that go along with it! I had forgotten I even threw one of those on my Azon wish list, but was so excited to see it! She’s going to be my sewing mentor, and I can’t wait to get a sewing table set up in the bonus room. Hand made presents galore this year!! Just as the last gift was opened, we got another surprise: a white Christmas!! The huge snowflakes were beautiful and the fact that it was Christmas just made it all the more magical. We ate amazing food (I mean really…Sandy showed out) while the snow fell and demanded took leftovers for dinner. Chase went to his dad’s to play in the snow, and SB and I came home to hibernate and rest. Deliciously beautiful holiday.

Sounds perfect huh? Well…not even 24 hours after Christmas and we grinched this place up. Tree: gone. Decorations: gone. Level 5 cleaning job in the house and we’re almost back to normal! As awesome as it was….it’s nice to have it all packed up and ready for next year also.

It’s been an awesome and interesting few weeks. I have a blog in the works about commitment and love and how in the real world – sometimes shit sucks. But until then…let’s revel in the Christmas hangover and the warm fuzzies that came along with this year’s holiday. OH! And Santa had another (large) surprise up his sleeve. He brought us a new addition. Our ‘graceful’ great dane. She deserves a post all on her own. It’ll be coming soon!

SJ